local joke, "Jika Banci Jadi Pramugari"

I don't know if any of my fellow indonesians ever read or heard about this, but I found this so freaking hilarious that I couldn't stop thinking to put it here. It's all in indonesian and it's about a joke if a sissy became a stewardess. I don't know how to translate it since it uses a stereotype dialect of local sissies.
Get ready to get tickle,

Jika Banci Jadi Pramugari

".....Ehemmm ehemm..yuhuuuu! !!...atensiong pliss.....Ledis en jentelmen, bekudis tempel semen, sesuai peraturan penerbangan, yang eike mawar kasi liat care pake itu sabuk yang ada di pinggang yey
, baju buat mengapung-apung dan masker oksigen di kala napas sesek. Biar yey nantinya bisa selamet, coba sini diliat dulu cara pasang itu sabuk yang melilit di pinggang yey, cara ngunci biar ga gampang lepas, ngencengin dan ngelepasinnya....
Baju apung ada di bawah kursi yang yey dudukin, jangan dipake kecuali nanti mas kapiten ngajak berenang bareng. Eit jangan lupa, itu barang jangan yey pindah-pindahin ya, apalagi dibawa pulang buat pajangan salon...Yang ketauan sama eike, bakalan ditabok kanan kiri atas bawah depan belakangdeh ih...Cara make'nya itu baju dikalungin di leher yey, ati ati kekencengan tar ga bisa napas, makanya kudu ati ati deh yah. Bbiar bisa ngapung, yey tarik itu pencetan warna merah delima atau yey tiup itu pipanya. Kalo nanti keluar lewat jendela darurat, itu baju apung dikembangin pas di luar aja deh, nanti mampet di jendela karena gak muat...aih...sampe kriting tangan eike narikin pencetannya keras amirr...gimenong siiih niiih...
Eh asala yey semua pada tau ya, ini pesawat ada dua pintu darurat di depan, ada dua di belakang dan ada dua lagi jendela darurat di tengah-tengah...jadi keluarnya jangan pada rebutan ya...
Kalo nanti tiba-tiba napas sesek dan bukan karena sabuk yang di pinggang kekencengan, bukan pula karena salah masang pelampung...masker oksigen bakalan nongol dari atas kepala yey, tarik aje dah terus napas kayak biasa. Kalo ada anak kecil, yey yey yang ude tuwir mesti nolongin anaknya dulu, baru yey pake sendiri.
Kartu gambar biar selamet ada di kantong kursi di depan yey duduk, silahkan dibaca dan dihayati dengan seksama yaaaah. Dan akhir kate ekyeee ucapkan Endang Sukamti Cintya Lamusu termia kasi God blesss yuuu...Yuuk...Mareeeiiiyyy"

I just couldn't stop laughing...oh well, next, the disclaimer:
I found this from one of the mailing lists that I subscribed...thanks for sharing fellas!!!

Jakarta earthquke and I live there

We had another earthquake in Jakarta yesterday. It was the second massive earthquake that hit Jakarta and by far the strongest ever, at magnitude 6 something. The epicentral of the quake is somewhere southwest of Tasikmalaya in West Java, at magnitude 7.5, well if you want to know the exact point, you'll find it at news sites.

Anyways, when the earthquake struck my house was shacking mildly but pretty noticeable (due to quake proof design), the water in our garden fish pond shook violently and threw a fish out of the pond. The most memorable scene during the quake was how the water of my swimming pool shakes. The water in my pool is lower than the edge of the pool and during the quake, the water shook badly until some of the water spilled out. Even sometime after the quake, the water was still shaking.

After the quake and aftershocks over, I quickly inspect my studio and found new cracks are appearing on the wall, thankfully the soundproof materials are holding. I'm not sure wether it's only outer layer crack or the wall that crack. We will have inspection to the studio soon.

It was a thrilling experience, especially because Jakarta is rarely hit by strong earthquake and we all wonder of how the people could take, should the quake changed to disaster, because naturally, as most indonesians are, the jakartans are living neglective culture and the prove of this was, several hours after the quake, the governor ordered a thorough inspection to all tall buildings and bridges. Why they didn't do that from the first place?

Jakarta lies on area that is relatively stable but once a quake hit, it usually a strong one. I'm just thankful that my family decided to build a quake proof house.